Is it boring, or is it hard?

Finding the motivation to do stuff (be it a a major project or an everyday task) can be hard. But for people with ADHD, it can be so hard, that it’s debilitating, because it happens so freaking often…. I’m not talking about the occasional lack of motivation that everyone typically experiences, but a constant lack of motivation every day to even do the little things… and to make matters even more challenging, this can change from day to day or task to task, so there is zero predicability around when an ADHD-er might hit motivational rock bottom. And before you say, “why can’t they just do it?”, there’s a biological difference in ADHD brain chemistry that actually physically prevents us from “just doing it”. If you’re interested about the neuroscience behind this, you can take a look at this article.

So if you can imagine this fluctuating motivation happening day in, day out, adding up over weeks, months and years, you can probably hazard a guess as to the mental toll this can have on someone. Especially if that someone beats themselves up about their lack of motivation, and constantly compares themselves to others who don’t struggle with motivation in this way… “Why can’t I just do it? Why can’t I be like everyone else? I should be able to do it” thoughts lead to a compounding conclusion that one must suck, be stupid, dumb, a loser and not good enough…

Which is why it’s super important for ADHD-ers who want to haul themselves out of this debilitating situation, to get some help in this area, so that they can understand the neuroscience behind their ADHD, realise that it’s NOT them (it’s their ADHD) and therefore can start cutting themselves some slack, changing their mindset and potentially do something about it… (And before you say it, it’s not about making excuses, it’s about naming the thing and finding ways forward to deal with it…)

One of the questions I often ask of my ADHD clients experiencing a lack of motivation is about whether the task or thing they are lacking motivation in is boring, or is it hard?

Because once we establish which it is (and it could be both boring and hard, which adds extra challenge!), I can help my clients work out a way forward, depending on what their answer is.

If it’s boring, how might they make the task less boring? If it’s hard, what about it is hard? What resources do they have at your disposal to help you make it less hard?

What do you think? Does this resonate with you? I’d be curious to find out whether this strategy, of even parts of this strategy might also work for neurotypicals. Leave your comments below!

Crystal is a qualified life and ADHD coach, specialising in working with women and young people. She also has lived experience as someone diagnosed with ADHD. The content of this article is based on her own lived and professional experience.